Are You Ready To Find Mr. or Mrs. Right?
We are currently offering a FREE membership club for African American singles. Qualifications to be a part of this club on Facebook.com include:
-Must be “Single”, 35-75 years old, an African American living in a city in the U.S..
-Must have your picture on your facebook profile.
-Must have facebook messenger to contact potential mates.
Forward profile (short write-up) with picture and Facebook link to AskCathy@DearCathy.com to be posted in this club.
Love Coach, Advice Columnist, and author of "Love After 50" at DearCathy.com.
Got a Question...EmailAskCathy@DearCathy.com
Men and Their Lust - Can You Tell the Difference in Men and Women?
The Differences in the Anatomy of Men vs. Women
By Cathy Harris, Love and Relationship Coach at
-MEN females don’t have big skulls with square jaws, with a slanted back forehead and receding hairlines like you. Women’s skulls are smaller with oval and pointed faces and straight foreheads.
-MEN females don’t usually have big ears like you. Women have smaller ears.
-MEN females don’t have prominent eyebrow ridges or sunken in eyes like men.
-MEN female's eyes are closer together than men. Men's eyes are further apart.
-MEN females have a smaller mouth than men. Men's mouths are larger than women. Therefore, their tongues are larger and longer.
-MEN female’s chins are not as big or long as men. Men have square chins and women have pointed chins.
-MEN females don’t have those big, long, thick necks like men. Women have small thin necks.
-MEN females don’t have visible Adam’s apples or visible train tract throats, which is caused by testosterone. Women do have an Adam’s apple, but it is not visible and is usually further up in the neck.
-MEN females don’t have wide or broad shoulders like you. Women’s shoulders slope downward.
-MEN have broad shoulders that are straight across, therefore, you can fit 3 heads on men’s shoulders.
-MEN female hips are larger or the same size in length as their shoulders.
-MEN females don’t have surfboard, straight backs like you. Women have curves in their backs after the shoulder blades for child-rearing.
-MEN females don’t have straight across collar bones that sticks out. Women’s collar bones go downward in a V and is not that prominent like men.
-MEN females don’t usually have a bony chest area.
-MEN females don’t have a straight, long torso like you. Females have shorter torsos with curves.
-MEN females don’t have six packs.
Only men have six packs.
-MEN female's navels go below the hips. Men navels go above the hips.
-MEN females don’t have Adonis belts (the V that goes downward) like you on each side. Watch for women in bikinis. These indentations that pop out on the sides are ONLY IN MEN.
-MEN females have cellulite especially on their thighs, but men don’t have cellulite.
-MEN females have a gap between their thighs for childbearing. This is how the pelvis is made.
-MEN females don’t have bony knees, but men do.
-Men's upper arms are usually muscular, but not always.
-MEN females don’t have long arms like men. Their hands usually stop at their crotch area. Men's wrists go to their crotch areas so their hands pass the crotch area.
-MEN females don’t have big wrists, big hands, and big feet like men. Women usually have smaller wrists, hands, and feet.
-MEN females’ index and ring fingers are usually the same length, whereas in men -- the ring finger and index fingers are usually a different length. Usually, the ring finger is longer than index finger -- but not always. It all depends on the testosterone intake -- they have endured during their lifetime.
More Ways to Tell the Difference in Men and Women
Facebook Groups Breaking Down the Sexes
Chasing Men Away
My name is Robin and I am a 44 year old African American female fitness trainer. My body looks great so I would also like to meet a man with a nice body. I work out a lot at the gym and meet my clients there, who are mostly females. I believe I might be chasing men away from me because of how I look at them. I will admit that I do “mean-mug” men, not just some of the time, but I have found myself doing this a lot. What do you suggest I do to get away from mean-mugging men? Mean-mugging men, New York.
You answered your own question about why you are still single. If you want to meet a man with a nice body, the gym is the place to be. The definition of “mean-mugging” is to glare at another person with sour look on one's face.
Men are very visual so no matter how great your body looks, if you are mean-mugging men, they will not only find you unattractive, but they will also think you are going to be too much work to build a relationship with, so they will simply move on.
Not just move on but when they see you at the gym, they might even make a comment to other men, that everytime they see you, you have a sour look on your face. Just remember one of the best ways to attract the opposite sex into your life is to SMILE MORE and stop “mean-mugging.”
Dating a Younger Man
I got a divorce after 30 years. I am now in my early 50s. I moved across country to live with my son, and now I am dating a man 25 years younger than me. I have not told anyone, including my son and my other children about this man, but he has made me very happy. He does not see the age difference as a problem, but I am sure others will. What do you think? Dating a Younger Man, Texas
We live in a society that judges women who date younger men, but not men who date younger women, so age is irrelevant when it comes to love. If dating a younger man has made you happy, then be happy. You are too old to worry about what other people might think of you, including your own children.
Life is meant for you to live, love and be happy. This is your life and at your age, you are setting all the rules, so be happy. There could be a blessing in disguise here also, for instance, dating a younger man should keep you feeling and looking younger and because of his age, hopefully, he doesn’t come with too much baggage.
Other women and men, unlike yourself, don’t have the courage to do what you are doing. Many remain in loveless marriages, day in and day out, out of a sense of obligation, even though they are not happy. Not only did you choose to move across the country, but you allowed your heart to be opened again, which is a rarity in these days and times.
Remember that most people never leave the areas that they grew up in. Therefore, all your efforts to create the life that you truly love, should be applauded.
In Love With My Friend’s Ex
I have been friends with my friend for over 15 years. She got a divorce and is now married to a wonderful man. She never had kids, but now has two stepchildren. I am secretly dating her ex-husband, who was married to her for 20 years. I wasn’t attracted to him when they were together, but now I really love this man.
I don’t know what to do about our situation. Do you have any suggestions on how we should handle this? How do I tell my friend that I am in love with her ex-husband or should my new mate tell her, since they are still friends? Ex-husband Jitters, Boston
Falling in love with a friend’s ex-husband is a very complicated situation. No one would actually choose to fall in love with a friend’s ex-husband. Since it has happened to you, then you need to deal with it, and you should be the one who breaks this news to her.
One woman’s loss is another woman’s gain and despite what you think, she might be happy for you. So you need to let her know what has happened. However, you might be left with the choice of choosing to stay friends, or giving up your new mate. So you need to ask yourself, how important is her friendship.
True love is a rarity and it only comes around once for many people in this lifetime, so I would think about your decision wisely. Meet with your friend or send her a written letter and explain to her what has happened. Let her know that during the time of her marriage, nothing out of the ordinary or no attractions took place.
She is now married to another man and is probably happy, so again, she might just be happy for you too, especially since she and her ex-husband remained friends after the split. If that doesn’t work, then you might need to avoid her by not hanging out in places, where you know she will be. But you also need to understand, that true friends don’t stand in the way of another friend’s happiness.
With the release of the below book "Love After 50: Love Questions from DearCathy.com After Hours," Cathy is now a "LOVE COACH."
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