Cathy Harris

Love Coach, Advice Columnist, and author of "Love After 50" at 

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 By Cathy Harris, Love and Relationship Coach at



-MEN females don’t have big skulls with square jaws, with a slanted back forehead and receding hairlines like you. Women’s skulls are smaller with oval and pointed faces and straight foreheads.


-MEN females don’t usually have big ears like you. Women have smaller ears.


-MEN females don’t have prominent eyebrow ridges or sunken in eyes like men.

-MEN female's eyes are closer together than men. Men's eyes are further apart.


-MEN females have a smaller mouth than men. Men's mouths are larger than women. Therefore, their tongues are larger and longer.


-MEN female’s chins are not as big or long as men. Men have square chins and women have pointed chins.


-MEN females don’t have those big, long, thick necks like men. Women have small thin necks.

-MEN females don’t have visible Adam’s apples or visible train tract throats, which is caused by testosterone. Women do have an Adam’s apple, but it is not visible and is usually further up in the neck.


-MEN females don’t have wide or broad shoulders like you. Women’s shoulders slope downward.

-MEN have broad shoulders that are straight across, therefore, you can fit 3 heads on men’s shoulders. 

-MEN female hips are larger or the same size in length as their shoulders. 


-MEN females don’t have surfboard, straight backs like you. Women have curves in their backs after the shoulder blades for child-rearing.


-MEN females don’t have straight across collar bones that sticks out. Women’s collar bones go downward in a V and is not that prominent like men.

-MEN females don’t usually have a bony chest area.  


-MEN females don’t have a straight, long torso like you. Females have shorter torsos with curves.

-MEN females don’t have six packs.

Only men have six packs.

-MEN female's navels go below the hips. Men navels go above the hips.

-MEN females don’t have Adonis belts (the V that goes downward) like you on each side. Watch for women in bikinis. These indentations that pop out on the sides are ONLY IN MEN.


-MEN females have cellulite especially on their thighs, but men don’t have cellulite.

-MEN females have a gap between their thighs for childbearing. This is how the pelvis is made.

-MEN females don’t have bony knees, but men do.


-Men's upper arms are usually muscular, but not always.

-MEN females don’t have long arms like men. Their hands usually stop at their crotch area. Men's wrists go to their crotch areas so their hands pass the crotch area. 

-MEN females don’t have big wrists, big hands, and big feet like men. Women usually have smaller wrists, hands, and feet.

-MEN females’ index and ring fingers are usually the same length, whereas in men -- the ring finger and index fingers are usually a different length. Usually, the ring finger is longer than index finger -- but not always. It all depends on the testosterone intake -- they have endured during their lifetime. 


More Ways to Tell the Difference in Men and Women


More Questions (Click Here)

-Don't Trust a Long Distance Lover

-Why Do Couples Struggle With Finances?

-Husband Blames Wife for Spending Too Much Online

-How I Put Myself Around Potential Mates

-My Boyfriend Cheats on Me

-Boyfriend Hangs Out at Clubs Too Much

-Can My Boyfriend Be Sabotaging My Health?

-Boyfriend Refuses To Bring Mate Into His Home

-Should I Get a Vasectomy?

-Can't Have Friends of the Opposite Sex

-Was I Wrong to Ask My Boyfriend To Chose Between Me and the Dog?

-My Mate Doesn't Enjoy Kissing or Hugging

-Am I Good Enough for My Boyfriend?

-Should My Husband and I Merge Our Bank Accounts?

-Thinking of Leaving My Husband Because of Dementia

-How Do I Stop Ex from Texting Me? 

-Mate Buys Tacky Gifts

-Settling for Best Friend

-Wife Abusive to Husband

-Girlfriend Jealous of Boyfriend's Kids

-Girlfriend Wants to Experience Other Men Before Marriage

-Should I Still Date My Ex-boyfriend After Moving Out of His Home?

-Should I Allow My Ex-Mate to Help Me Move Out of His Home?

-Husband and Wife Are Compulsive Eaters

-Boyfriend Has Drinking Problems

-Mate Tries to Micromanage My Life

-Mate Too Tired for Intimate Conversations

-In Love With a Younger Woman

-Dating A Younger Man

-Single Mother is a Slob

-38, Single, But Ready for Motherhood

-Daughter Doesn't Want Me to Date

-Should I Date With Liver Disease?

-Pregnant Woman Abused by Husband

-Married Man Attracted to Other Women

-Wife Attracted to Other Women

-Is It True that Bald Men Make Better Lovers?

-Couple Seeking More Sexual Activity Through Diets

-Wife Loses Sexual Desires After Hysterectomy

-What Age Should My Husband Have His Testestrone Checked?

-Is It Okay to Take Viagra?

-Girlfriend Too Clingy

-I Always Meet Abusive Men

-Husband Doesn't Want Anymore Kids

-Can Gingko Biloba Spice Up My Love Life?

-Girlfriend is the Jealous Type

-Wife Leaves Husband Alone on New Year's Eve

-Husband Refuses to Discuss Family Issues With Wife

-Husband and Wife Can't Seem to Get on the Same Page

-Couple Needs to Shop Online

-Boyfriend Won't Destroy Sex Tape

-Negative Husband - Negative Marriage - When Is It Time to Move On?

-Mate Won't Give Up Closet Space

-Can True Love Maintain Two Households?

-Falling Out of Love With Mate

-Husband Can't Say He Loves Me

-In Love With an Employee

-I Fell In Love With My Friend's Ex-husband

-Friends Hurting My Relationships

-Loveless Marriage

-Garlic Playing Havoc on Relationship

-Husband Refuses to Take a Lower Paying Job

-Afraid of Commitment

-Should I Keep Dating Outside My Race?

-Mate Won't Attend Family Gathering

-I Want to Leave My Marriage

-Mate Addicted to News on TV

-Should I Leave My Mate Because of His Diet?

-Is My Girlfriend Marriage Material?

-Married to a Homebody

-Should I Leave My Financial Secure Mate?

-Still Hoping and Searching for Love

Robin's Story:

Chasing Men Away

Dear Cathy:

My name is Robin and I am a 44-year-old African American female fitness trainer. My body looks great so I would also like to meet a man with a nice body. I work out a lot at the gym and meet my clients there, who are mostly females. I believe I might be chasing men away from me because of how I look at them. I will admit that I do “mean-mug” men, not just some of the time, but I have found myself doing this a lot. What do you suggest I do to get away from mean-mugging men? Mean-mugging men, New York.

Dear Robin:

You answered your own question about why you are still single. If you want to meet a man with a nice body, the gym is the place to be. The definition of “mean-mugging” is to glare at another person with a sour look on one's face.

Men are very visual so no matter how great your body looks, if you are mean-mugging men, they will not only find you unattractive, but they will also think you are going to be too much work to build a relationship with, so they will simply move on. 

Not just move on but when they see you at the gym, they might even make a comment to other men, that every time they see you, you have a sour look on your face. Just remember one of the best ways to attract the opposite sex into your life is to SMILE MORE and stop “mean-mugging.”


Paula's Story:

Dating a Younger Man

Dear Cathy:

I got a divorce after 30 years. I am now in my early 50s. I moved across the country to live with my son, and now I am dating a man 25 years younger than me.  I have not told anyone, including my son and my other children about this man, but he has made me very happy. He does not see the age difference as a problem, but I am sure others will. What do you think? Dating a Younger Man, Texas

Dear Paula:

We live in a society that judges women who date younger men, but not men who date younger women, so age is irrelevant when it comes to love.  If dating a younger man has made you happy, then be happy. You are too old to worry about what other people might think of you, including your own children. 

Life is meant for you to live, love, and be happy. This is your life and at your age, you are setting all the rules, so be happy. There could be a blessing in disguise here also. For instance, dating a younger man should keep you feeling and looking younger, and because of his age, hopefully, he doesn’t come with too much baggage.

Other women and men, unlike yourself, don’t dare to do what you are doing. Many remain in loveless marriages, day in and day out, out of a sense of obligation, even though they are not happy.  Not only did you choose to move across the country, but you allowed your heart to be opened again, which is a rarity in these days and times. 

Remember that most people never leave the areas that they grew up in. Therefore, all your efforts to create the life that you truly love should be applauded. 

Cynthia's Story

In Love With My Friend’s Ex

Dear Cathy:

I have been friends with my friend for over 15 years. She got a divorce and is now married to a wonderful man. She never had kids, but now has two stepchildren. I am secretly dating her ex-husband, who was married to her for 20 years. I wasn’t attracted to him when they were together, but now I really love this man. 

I don’t know what to do about our situation. Do you have any suggestions on how we should handle this? How do I tell my friend that I am in love with her ex-husband or should my new mate tell her since they are still friends? Ex-husband Jitters, Boston

Dear Cynthia:

Falling in love with a friend’s ex-husband is a very complicated situation. No one would actually choose to fall in love with a friend’s ex-husband. Since it has happened to you, then you need to deal with it, and you should be the one who breaks this news to her.

One woman’s loss is another woman’s gain and despite what you think, she might be happy for you so you need to let her know what has happened. However, you might be left with the choice of choosing to stay friends or giving up your new mate. Therefore, you need to ask yourself, how important is her friendship?

True love is a rarity and it only comes around once for many people in this lifetime, so I would think about your decision wisely.  Meet with your friend or send her a written letter and explain to her what has happened. Let her know that during the time of her marriage, nothing out of the ordinary or no attractions took place. 

She is now married to another man and is probably happy, so again, she might just be happy for you too, especially since she and her ex-husband remained friends after the split. If that doesn’t work, then you might need to avoid her by not hanging out in places, where you know she will be. You also need to understand, that true friends don’t stand in the way of another friend’s happiness.

With the release of the below book "Love After 50:  Love Questions from After Hours," Cathy is now a "LOVE COACH."

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